Top 10 Dating App Turn Offs

Sharing is caring!

On the JJ Barnes Blog, as Valentines Day approaches you might be looking to Tinder to find some romance, so I’m sharing the top 10 dating app turns offs to give you the best chance of finding love… or just a bit of fun.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and if you’re like me and you absolutely love Valentine’s day, but you have nobody to celebrate with, it can feel like everyone else has their plans sorted, and you’re just… scrolling. Sometimes Tinder seems like the quickest, easiest way to, you know, not be scrolling solo on February 14th.

I’ve spent my fair share of time swiping, and I’ve seen it all – the good, the bad, and the downright cringe-worthy. So, to help you avoid the common pitfalls and actually find someone worth spending February 14th with (or even just a fun night out!), I’m sharing my insider tips, thanks to a new study by casino experts at Rainbet, who sent over a list of the top 10 dating app turn offs. Trust me, avoiding these mistakes will seriously up your chances of making a real connection.

Whether you’re looking for love, laughter, or just someone to share a pizza with, this is your guide to swiping smarter, not harder.

Top 10 Dating App Turn Offs

1. No Photos Of Yourself

Topping the list, the absolute biggest deal-breaker for everyone – Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z alike – is: No photos of yourself.

A profile without pictures raises so many red flags. Are you a bot? A catfish? Hiding something? It doesn’t matter how witty your bio is; if you’re a faceless enigma, most people are going to swipe left. It screams “fake,” “not serious,” or even “I’m trying to hide something.” It makes it hard to believe you’re genuinely looking to connect with someone.

So, here’s the deal: If you’re serious about finding a match (for Valentine’s Day or any other day!), you need photos. And not just any photos. Here are a few tips for taking great dating app photos:

• Clear and Bright: Avoid blurry, pixelated images. Good lighting is your best friend! Natural light is ideal. Think outdoors or near a window.
• Show Your Face: Selfies are fine, but make sure your face is clearly visible. No sunglasses or hats that obscure your features. Smiling is always a plus!
• Full Body Shot: Include at least one photo where we can see your full figure. This helps give a better sense of your overall look.
• Action Shot: Showcase your hobbies! Are you a hiker? A foodie? A bookworm? Include a photo of you doing something you love. This gives potential matches something to talk about and helps them get to know you.
• Be Yourself: Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Authenticity is key! Choose photos that genuinely reflect your personality and lifestyle.
• Keep it Current: Use recent photos. We all change over time, and outdated pictures can lead to awkward first dates.
• Variety is Key: Mix it up! Include a few different types of photos – a close-up, a full body shot, and an action shot.

Remember, your photos are the first thing people see. They’re your chance to make a great impression and show the world who you are. So, ditch the mystery and put your best face forward! Trust me, it makes a world of difference.

2. Your Bio Is Too Cocky

Confidence is attractive, absolutely. But there’s a fine line between genuine self-assurance and straight-up boastfulness. Nobody likes someone who reeks of self-importance. Listing your accomplishments is fine – in fact, it can be great! Sharing your passions and interests is also a must. But the key is to do it with humility and a touch of self-awareness.

Think about it: would you rather match with someone who says, “I’m a CEO, a world traveler, and I’m basically perfect,” or someone who says, “I’m passionate about my work in tech, I love exploring new places, and I’m always up for a good laugh”? The second option is way more approachable and genuine.

Here’s how to write a bio that attracts, not repels:

• Be Authentic: The best bios are genuine reflections of who you are. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Authenticity shines through and is far more appealing than a forced persona.
• Show, Don’t Just Tell: Instead of just saying “I’m adventurous,” describe your last hiking trip or the time you went skydiving. Give concrete examples that illustrate your personality.
• Highlight Your Interests: What are you passionate about? What do you do in your free time? Sharing your hobbies and interests gives potential matches something to connect with you over.
• Keep it Positive: Avoid negativity or complaining. Focus on the things you enjoy and the kind of person you’re looking to meet.
• Be Concise: No one wants to read a novel. Keep your bio short, sweet, and to the point. A few well-chosen sentences are all you need.
• Inject Some Humor: A little bit of humor can go a long way. Show that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Just avoid anything offensive or self-deprecating.
• Proofread! Typos and grammatical errors make you look sloppy. Take the time to proofread your bio before posting it.
• End with a Question or Call to Action: This encourages interaction and makes it easier for someone to start a conversation with you. For example, “Ask me about my favorite travel destination!” or “Looking for someone to explore the city with. What are your favorite spots?”

Examples of what not to do:

• “I’m looking for someone who can keep up with my lifestyle.” (Arrogant and implies you’re high-maintenance.)
• “I’m only interested in dating models/millionaires/etc.” (Superficial and exclusionary.)
• “I’m not sure what I’m looking for.” (Lazy and shows a lack of direction.)
• Anything negative or judgmental. (Just a bad vibe.)

Your bio is your personal advertisement. Make it count! Showcase your personality, highlight your interests, and keep it real. Avoid the arrogance trap, and you’ll be well on your way to attracting the right kind of matches.

3. I Can’t See Your Face

Let’s talk photos again, because this is crucial. We’ve already established that having photos is a must, but the quality of those photos is just as important. And one of the biggest turn-offs I see? Profiles filled with shadowy, blurry, or distant photos. It’s incredibly frustrating for potential matches, and frankly, it often comes across as though you’re trying to hide something.

Look, I get it. Maybe you’re not a professional model. Maybe you’re a little camera shy. But on a dating app, your photos are your first impression. And while personality is absolutely essential for a lasting connection, let’s be honest: physical attraction plays a significant role, especially in the initial stages of online dating. You want your photos to showcase the real you, and that means giving potential matches a clear view of your face.

Think about it from the other person’s perspective. Would you be more likely to swipe right on a profile with a clear, friendly photo, or one where you can barely make out the person’s features? The answer is obvious. Shadowy, blurry, or distant photos make it difficult to get a sense of who you are, and they can even raise suspicion. Are you trying to hide something? Are you not confident in your appearance? These are the questions that might pop into someone’s head, and they’re not exactly conducive to sparking a connection.

4. Using Vulgar Pick-Up Lines

Okay, let’s talk about opening lines. You’ve got great photos, a compelling bio… now you just need to start a conversation. This is where things can get tricky. And one of the biggest mistakes I see? Starting with a rude, explicit, or just plain creepy one-liner.

Look, I get it. Maybe you’re trying to be funny. Maybe you think it’s a clever way to stand out from the crowd. But trust me, unless you’re absolutely certain the other person has the same sense of humor as you (and let’s be real, you probably don’t), starting with something offensive or overly sexual is a surefire way to get unmatched faster than you can say “ghosted.”

It doesn’t matter if your friends at the pub thought it was hilarious. Dating apps are a different arena. People are looking for genuine connection, not to be bombarded with inappropriate jokes or pick-up lines that belong in a bad rom-com. Starting with something rude or explicit sends the message that you’re not respectful, you’re not serious, and you’re definitely not someone they want to talk to.

So, how do you start a conversation that gets a response?

• Personalize It: Read their profile! Mention something specific that caught your eye. Did they mention a favorite band? A love of hiking? Show that you’ve taken the time to actually read their profile and that you’re genuinely interested in learning more about them.
• Ask a Question: Asking a question is a great way to get a conversation going. Make it open-ended, something that requires more than a one-word answer. Instead of “Hey,” try “Hey! I noticed you’re a big fan of [band/book/movie]. What’s your favorite album/book/scene?”
• Keep it Light and Fun: Dating apps should be fun! Keep your opening line light, playful, and positive. Avoid anything too serious or heavy.
• Be Genuine: Authenticity is key. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Just be yourself and let your personality shine through.
• Avoid Clichés: Steer clear of cheesy pick-up lines or generic greetings. They’ve been heard a million times, and they’re not likely to make you stand out.
• Check Your Grammar and Spelling: Typos and grammatical errors can be a major turn-off. Take a few seconds to proofread your opening line before sending it.
• Be Patient: Don’t expect an immediate response. People are busy, and they may not be online all the time. Give it some time, and if you don’t hear back, move on.

Examples of good opening lines:

• “I saw you’re a fan of [artist/band]. I’m seeing them in concert next month. Have you seen them live before?”
• “Your bio mentioned you love hiking. What’s your favorite trail you’ve ever hiked?”
• “I’m always looking for new book recommendations. What’s the last book you read that you couldn’t put down?”
• “I noticed you’re a [profession]. That’s fascinating! What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned in your field?”

Examples of what not to do:

• Anything sexually suggestive or offensive. (Seriously, just don’t.)
• “Hey sexy.” (Ugh.)
• “You’re hot.” (Superficial and lazy.)
• Anything demanding or entitled. (“You better respond.”)

Remember, your opening line is your first impression. Make it count! Show that you’re respectful, genuine, and actually interested in getting to know the other person. Avoid the cringe-worthy one-liners, and you’ll be well on your way to starting some meaningful conversations.

5. Being Mean Under The Guise of Honesty

Let’s talk about something that absolutely baffles me: backhanded compliments. Seriously, who thinks this is a good strategy on a dating app? Newsflash: it’s not. Commenting negatively on someone’s photos or personality, even if you think you’re being “subtly” clever or funny, is a huge turn-off. It doesn’t make you look witty or charming; it makes you look rude, insecure, and completely clueless.

Think about it. You’re scrolling through profiles, and you come across someone who seems interesting. Then, you see their bio or photos, and you decide to “compliment” them by saying something like, “You’re not as bad looking as I thought you’d be,” or “I like your adventurous spirit, even if it seems a little reckless.” Um, no. Just no. This is not the way to win someone over.

Backhanded compliments are confusing and insulting. They leave the other person wondering if you’re trying to compliment them or put them down. Even if you genuinely didn’t intend to be mean, that’s how it’s going to come across. And let’s be honest, why would you want to start a conversation by making someone feel bad about themselves?

Here’s the deal: Honesty is important, but kindness is essential. If you don’t have something genuinely positive to say, it’s better to say nothing at all. Constructive criticism has its place, but a dating app is not it. Focus on the things you do like about someone’s profile, not the things you don’t.

Instead of backhanded compliments, try these:

• Genuine Compliments: Focus on something specific that you appreciate about their profile. “I love your taste in music!” “Your bio made me laugh.” “That photo of you hiking is amazing!”
• Open-Ended Questions: Ask a question about something they’ve mentioned in their profile. This shows that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them. “I see you’re a big foodie. What’s your favorite restaurant in town?”
• Shared Interests: Mention something you have in common. “I’m also a huge fan of [band/movie/book]! Have you seen them live/read their other books/etc.?”
• Positive Observations: “You seem like a really fun and adventurous person.” “I admire your passion for [hobby/cause].”

Things to absolutely avoid:

• “You’re cute, for a [profession/age/etc.].” (Condescending and insulting.)
• “I usually don’t go for [hair color/eye color/etc.], but…” (Why even mention it?)
• “You’re surprisingly interesting.” (Implies you had low expectations.)
• Anything that starts with “You’re not as…” (Just don’t.)

Remember, the goal is to make a positive connection, not to make someone feel insecure or judged. Kindness and genuine interest will go much further than any backhanded compliment. So, ditch the negativity and focus on being positive and authentic. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes.

6. Flaunting Your Wealth

Let’s talk about flexing. Specifically, the kind that involves flashing your cash or bragging about your wealth on a dating app. Let me be clear: it’s a major turn-off. If you think your bank account is your most attractive quality, you seriously need to rethink your dating strategy.

Look, financial security is important, no one’s denying that. But flaunting your wealth – whether it’s through your bio, your photos (think pictures of you posing with expensive cars or private jets), or just casually dropping brand names in every sentence – comes across as incredibly insecure and, frankly, a little tacky. It screams, “I’m trying too hard to impress you,” and it often has the opposite effect.

At the end of the day, most people are looking for a genuine connection, not a walking, talking balance sheet. They want to connect with someone on an emotional level, someone who shares their values and interests, someone who makes them laugh. Bragging about money suggests that you’re more interested in showing off than in actually getting to know someone. It can also attract the wrong kind of attention – people who are more interested in your wallet than in you.

Here’s the truth: Confidence is attractive. Arrogance is not. And flaunting your wealth is a form of arrogance. It suggests that you think you’re better than other people, and that’s never a good look.

Instead of bragging about money, try these:

• Focus on Your Passions: What are you passionate about? What do you do in your free time? Sharing your interests and hobbies is a much more attractive way to connect with someone.
• Highlight Your Personality: Are you funny? Kind? Adventurous? Let your personality shine through in your bio and conversations.
• Show Your Values: What’s important to you? What do you stand for? Sharing your values can help you connect with people who share your worldview.
• Be Humble: Genuine humility is far more attractive than boastfulness. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves.
• Be Respectful: Treat everyone with kindness and respect, regardless of their financial status.

Things to absolutely avoid:

• Photos of you with expensive cars, watches, or other luxury items. (Tacky and try-hard.)
• Mentioning your salary or net worth in your bio. (Gross.)
• Talking about how much money you spend on things. (No one cares.)
• Judging people based on their perceived financial status. (Classist and rude.)

Remember, you’re trying to connect with a person, not impress them with your bank account. Focus on building genuine connections based on shared interests, values, and personality. Leave the bragging for someone else. You’ll be surprised at how much more attractive you become when you ditch the materialism and focus on being your authentic self.

7. Only Posting Group Photos

Group photos can be fun, they can show you have a social life, but they can also be a major source of frustration. And one of the biggest turn-offs, especially for Baby Boomers, is profiles that only feature group photos.

Think about it: you’re swiping through profiles, and you come across one where everyone is huddled together. Okay, cool, they have friends. But which one are they? Are they the one in the back? The one on the left? The one making the funny face? It’s like a game of “Where’s Wally,” and honestly, most people don’t have time for that.

Not only is it annoying to try and figure out who’s profile you’re even looking at, but it can also be seen as a bit insecure. Are you afraid to show yourself? Are you trying to hide behind your friends? And let’s be honest, there’s always the risk that your match might find one of your friends more attractive, which can lead to some awkward situations.

The key is balance. Group photos can be fine, but they shouldn’t be the only photos on your profile.

8. Poor Spelling And Grammar

Okay, let’s talk about something that should be obvious, but apparently isn’t: grammar and spelling. Yes, I’m talking about those little things that can make a huge difference in how you’re perceived on a dating app. And no, I’m not just talking about the occasional typo – we all make those. I’m talking about consistently poor grammar and spelling that makes you look careless, uneducated, or just plain lazy.

Think about it. You’re scrolling through profiles, and you come across one that’s filled with grammatical errors and misspelled words. “I meen this won shud be obvius write?!” “Your grate, lets meat up.” “Im looking for sumone to hang out with.” What’s your first impression? Probably not a great one. It suggests a lack of attention to detail, a lack of effort, and frankly, a lack of respect for the person you’re trying to connect with.

On a dating app, your written communication is one of the primary ways you express yourself. And if your writing is riddled with errors, it’s going to make it much harder to make a good impression. It can even be a deal-breaker for some people. They might think, “If they can’t even be bothered to proofread their profile, what else are they going to be careless about?”

Here’s the deal: Good grammar and spelling are essential for clear communication. They show that you’re intelligent, articulate, and that you care about how you present yourself. And on a dating app, where first impressions are crucial, that’s incredibly important.

Here’s how to make sure your grammar and spelling are on point:

• Proofread Everything: Before you post your profile or send a message, take the time to proofread it carefully. Read it aloud, if necessary. This will help you catch any errors you might have missed.
• Use Spell Check: Spell check is your friend! Use it. But don’t rely on it completely. It can sometimes miss errors, especially with homophones (words that sound the same but have different meanings).
• Pay Attention to Common Mistakes: Know your common grammar and spelling errors and be extra vigilant about looking out for them. Things like “their,” “there,” and “they’re” or “your” and “you’re” are often mixed up.
• Use Proper Punctuation: Proper punctuation is just as important as spelling and grammar. Use commas, apostrophes, and other punctuation marks correctly.
• Avoid Slang and Text Speak: While some casual language is acceptable, avoid excessive use of slang or text speak. It can make you look unprofessional or immature.
• Ask for Help: If you’re not confident in your grammar and spelling skills, ask a friend or family member to proofread your profile and messages.

Things to absolutely avoid:

• Deliberately misspelling words or using poor grammar. (It’s not cute or quirky; it’s just annoying.)
• Relying on autocorrect without proofreading. (It can sometimes change words incorrectly.)
• Ignoring grammar and spelling altogether. (Big mistake.)
• Making excuses for poor grammar and spelling. (“I’m not good at it.” That’s why you should proofread!)

Remember, your written communication is a reflection of you. Make sure it’s a positive one. Good grammar and spelling show that you’re intelligent, thoughtful, and that you care about making a good impression. So, take the time to proofread and make sure your writing is as polished as possible. It will make a big difference in your dating app success.

9. Over-Messaging Or Getting Clingy

We all know that feeling of excitement when you match with someone interesting. But it’s crucial to remember that dating, especially in the early stages, should be a fun and relaxed experience, not a full-time job. For many, dating apps offer a form of escapism, a chance to connect with new people and explore potential relationships. But when someone comes on too strong, too fast, it can feel overwhelming and suffocating, completely defeating the purpose of lighthearted connection.

Think about it: you match with someone, and within minutes, your phone is blowing up with messages. They’re asking for your life story, demanding constant attention, and generally coming across as way too invested, way too soon. It’s a major red flag. It can signal insecurity, neediness, and a lack of respect for the other person’s boundaries. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being bombarded or pressured, especially by someone they barely know.

The key is to play it cool and give conversations time to breathe. This doesn’t mean you should be aloof or unresponsive. It simply means you should avoid coming on too strong or being overly eager. Let the conversation flow naturally, and don’t be afraid to give the other person some space.

Here’s how to avoid the clingy trap:

• Pace Yourself: Don’t send a flurry of messages right after matching with someone. Give it some time, and let the conversation develop organically.
• Respect Boundaries: If someone doesn’t respond immediately, don’t panic. They might be busy, or they might just need some time to think. Avoid sending multiple messages in a row or demanding a response.
• Don’t Over-Share: Resist the urge to spill your entire life story on the first day. Keep the conversation light and fun, and gradually share more personal details as you get to know each other better.
• Give Space: Everyone needs some space, even in a new relationship. Don’t be afraid to give the other person some time to themselves. It’s healthy and normal.
• Don’t Assume Exclusivity Too Soon: Just because you’ve been chatting for a few days doesn’t mean you’re in a committed relationship. Avoid making assumptions about exclusivity until you’ve had a chance to get to know each other better in person.
• Balance Online and Offline Interaction: While online communication is important, it shouldn’t be the only way you interact. Suggest meeting up in person when the time feels right. This will help you build a stronger connection and avoid getting too caught up in the online world.

Things to absolutely avoid:

• Sending multiple messages in a row without getting a response. (Desperate and annoying.)
• Demanding attention or getting upset if someone doesn’t respond immediately. (Insecure and controlling.)
• Asking for personal information too soon (e.g., phone number, address). (Creepy.)
• Talking about marriage or long-term commitment on the first date (or even in the first few weeks). (Way too intense.)
• Constantly checking their online status or social media profiles. (Obsessive and unhealthy.)

Remember, dating should be fun and exciting, not stressful and overwhelming. By playing it cool and respecting boundaries, you’ll create a much more positive experience for both yourself and your potential matches. So, take a deep breath, relax, and let the connection develop naturally. You’ll be glad you did.

10. Deceptive Or Overly Edited Photos

I get it. Dating apps can be intimidating. Maybe you’re feeling insecure about something, or maybe you just want to present the best possible version of yourself. But the truth is, catfishing is never a good idea. It’s dishonest, it’s disrespectful, and it’s ultimately going to backfire.

Think about it. If you’re genuinely looking for a connection with someone, building that connection on a foundation of lies is never going to work. Even if you manage to fool someone for a while, the truth is going to come out eventually. And when it does, it’s going to damage any trust that might have been built and leave the other person feeling hurt and betrayed. Plus, let’s be real, who wants to start a relationship with someone who’s already lied to them?

The solution is simple, but powerful: just be yourself. It might sound cliché, but it’s the best dating advice you’ll ever receive. Authenticity is attractive. People are drawn to genuine, real individuals, not to carefully constructed facades. Embrace your quirks, your flaws, and everything that makes you you. It’s what makes you unique and interesting.

Here’s how to be authentically yourself on a dating app:

• Be Honest in Your Profile: Don’t exaggerate your accomplishments, lie about your age, or pretend to be someone you’re not. Be truthful about your interests, your hobbies, and what you’re looking for in a partner.
• Use Real Photos: Avoid using photos that are heavily filtered, outdated, or of someone else entirely. Use recent photos that accurately represent how you look.
• Write a Genuine Bio: Let your personality shine through in your bio. Share your passions, your sense of humor, and what makes you tick. Don’t try to be someone you think others will want you to be.
• Be Yourself in Conversations: Don’t try to impress someone by pretending to be someone you’re not. Be genuine and honest in your interactions.
• Don’t Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable: Sharing your vulnerabilities can be scary, but it can also be a way to build deeper connections with others. Don’t be afraid to be open and honest about your feelings.
• Don’t Compare Yourself to Others: Everyone is on their own journey. Don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to others or trying to measure up to some unrealistic ideal.

Things to absolutely avoid:

• Using fake photos or pretending to be someone else. (Catfishing is never okay.)
• Exaggerating your accomplishments or lying about your background. (Dishonesty will always come out.)
• Trying to be someone you think others will want you to be. (Authenticity is key.)
• Hiding your true self out of fear of rejection. (Rejection is part of the dating process. It’s better to be rejected for who you are than accepted for someone you’re not.)

Remember, the goal of dating is to find someone who appreciates you for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be. So, embrace your authentic self, be honest and genuine, and you’ll be much more likely to attract the right kind of connection. Catfishing might seem like a shortcut, but it’s a dead end. Authenticity is the long game, and it’s always worth it.

Conclusion

So, there you have it – my hard-won wisdom from the trenches of online dating! These are the top 10 turn-offs I’ve learned the hard way, the things that make me (and probably you!) cringe when scrolling through profiles. From the mystery of no photos to the ick of backhanded compliments, these are the mistakes you definitely want to avoid if you’re serious about finding a connection. And trust me, I’ve seen it all.

But more than just avoiding the bad stuff, remember that online dating is about putting your best, authentic self out there. It’s about being respectful, being genuine, and actually showing an interest in the person on the other side of the screen. So, take these tips, learn from my mistakes (so you don’t have to make your own!), and get out there and start swiping with confidence.

Happy hunting, and may your matches be plentiful and your dates be amazing!

Creating a standout Tinder profile is all about authenticity and balance.

This data highlights the importance of being genuine and self-aware online. Clear, authentic photos and a well-written bio showcase confidence without veering into arrogance, and avoiding over-the-top displays of wealth or edited images can help build trust.

The key takeaway? Women are looking for a connection, not a curated persona. By staying true to yourself and steering clear of these common turn-offs, you’re much more likely to turn swipes into meaningful matches this Valentine’s Day.

-Gabriele Asaro, Head of Research at Rainbet

Methodology

Data from Ranker.com was analysed to determine the ranking.
The data analysed comprised of 14.4k votes from women across the world regarding their biggest Tinder turn-offs. Data correct as of 14th January 2025.