Encouraging My Children With Their Creative Passions

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On the JJ Barnes Blog, I share my experiences of being creative parents raising creative children, and how we are trying to encourage and support their creative passions.

Creative Parents

When Jon and I met in November 2014, one of the first things we bonded over was our love of creativity. He is a passionate and astoundingly talented musician, I have always loved everything to do with art and crafting, and we were both working on writing books.

Over the course of our relationship, we have spent more hours than I can possibly imagine talking about and working on our creative pursuits. Since our first novels came out in 2016, we have published books, released music, and made a movie. I sell art, he writes about music, and we both work together on The Table Read Magazine to share and promote the creativity of others.

Basically, our whole relationship, work and lives revolve around a passion for creativity. Therefore, it’s probably no surprise that the children we are raising are similarly focused.

Creative Children

My daughters are ten and six. The ten year old had just turned two when I was a single mother, fresh from marital breakdown, and Jon came into her life. He has raised her and loved her, parented and praised her, ever since, and he has definitely contributed to her creativity as much as he has his own biological children.

What is fascinating is how they are both incredibly creative, but in ways both similar to each of us, and yet so different. And while sending them down the path of the life of an indie artist isn’t necassarily the best parenting choice we could make (yes, I know they’d have more stable lives if they becomes lawyers or doctors or accountants etc…), I do want to encourage and celebrate the best of who they are, and let them learn and develop their skills in a way that is natural to them.

I don’t share photos of my children online, but please discover more about who they are and what they love anyway!

Six Year Old Musician

The six year old is a musician. And I say this without any sense of “to be.” She’s a musician now. She sits with her keyboard, playing her tunes, and warbling her songs. She writes song lyrics, often incredibly poetic ones, and practices her performances. She records herself singing and watches it back. She is a musician.

The fascinating thing is that Jon is the musician, but he doesn’t enjoy writing lyrics. I love writing lyrics, but I am definitely not a musician. For example, Dead To Me by Hot Profanity is a song we wrote and produced for the soundtrack to Hollowhood, our film. Jon wrote the music, and then I listened to it and wrote the lyrics. It was a complete blended effort, then performed by the wonderful Vicky Burke and Leo Parkes.

But somehow, the six year old has developed this wonderful blend of Jon’s passion and talent for the music, and my love of writing poetic words. I’m so excited to see where she goes with it, because I truly think she could be a phenomenal talent.

Jon has promised that, when she’s ready, he will produce her music, and we will release it properly. She has a lovely singing voice and a definite talent, and needs to see that we respect it and value it. So now, she is working on it. Writing lyrics, practicing tunes, and loving every second.

Ten Year Old Designer

The ten year old loves design. She is learning how to use art software and photo editing apps that most adults I know wouldn’t have a clue how to navigate. She has loads of ideas, draws and doodles all the time, and loves getting a chance to use my drawing tablet so she can hand draw her pictures directly into the computer.

A while ago, I set her up with a Redbubble Shop. She hasn’t made any sales (I don’t let her use social media for one thing), but it gives her a focus. She draws pictures, uploads them to Canva, edits them, saves them, and then applies them to Redbubble products. She doesn’t need sales, she needs to see that her work and her passion can be applied to something practical, and that I respect her enough to let it happen.

Recently, I started designing a range of notebooks, and this idea caught her attention too. I promised her that if she designs them, I’ll market them. Since then, I have a computer so full of her designs for different notebooks and journals that I need to set aside an entire weekend just to upload them.

The loveliest thing is her first notebook design was created for her sister, who while she has no desire to design herself, loves notebooks and was excited to be involved as inspiration. And, thanks to her lovely grandmother, she made her first sale of her first design!

Her graphic design skills are developing and improving every time. She is full of ideas, loves choosing fonts and effects, combining colours and images, and is developing a lot of skills that are valuable, and she is having a wonderful time doing it.

Encouraging My Children

I am never going to claim to be a parenting expert. Nor even a parenting skilled person. I’m possibly parenting adequately, but some days I think that’s even a stretch. I’ve kept them alive so far… let’s just leave it at that.

However, I am proud to say that my children are creative, and despite the fact their parents are working all the time and don’t spend that special one on one time with them that they deserve very often, somehow we’ve managed to raise children who are not only creative, but actively seek out their creative pursuits.

Therefore, please accept my tips (based on experience not actual technical knowledge or skill) for raising creative kids:

Be supportive and encouraging:

Let your child know that you believe in their creativity and that you are there to support them. Whether it’s letting them fill a Redbubble shop with designs nobody will buy, or listening to a song being warbled by a freckle faced six year old over and over again, just let them see that what they are passionate about and good at matters.

Provide resources where possible:

We have no money nor space for a proper piano, but we were able to get the six year old a keyboard. The ten year old is learning graphic design on the computer with online software. We can’t give them everything they want, or even everything they deserve, but the things they’re excited by and passionate about, we try to make sure they have access to resouces that allow them to develop those skills.

Give them creative time:

Education is important. Homework is important. Chores are important. Relaxation time is important. But all of those things can become so dominating that there’s no time left for just being creative. My kids watch plenty of TV, probably way too much, and school takes up a horribly big amount of time. But creativity is important too, so we try to all make room for it.

Let them do it badly.

I can give it the big talk about how wonderfully talented a musician the six year old is, but she has banged out some horrific noises and sometimes her singing could break glass. I can talk about how well my ten year old is learning design software, but sometimes the guff she’s presented me with has been truly horrific. But it’s cool, we all suck at the beginning. It’s not about starting out as a genius, it’s about finding the love and learning how to get better at it because of that love.

Celebrate their successes.

Being presented with terrible child creations is par for the course, and obviously we give them the desired “That’s wonderful, darling!” response. But when they create something genuinely brilliant? That gets the celebration. When they learn a new skill, perfect something they’ve been practicing? Celebration. I want them to know when they’re nailing it!

Don’t compare them to others.

My kids are very different. Six has no interested in computer design, ten has no interest in writing music. But they both love arts and crafts in general, and sometimes one of them is way better at something than the other. And sometimes other kids are way better than they are. That’s cool. In my opinion, just compare them to themselves. If they’ve done something that is great for who they are, then that’s all that matters.

Let them explore their interests.

Let them find what they are passionate about. While I’d love it if their skills, talents and passions were in discovering diamonds… they’re not. I don’t want to push them into anything creative that they’re not naturally inclined towards. I spend enough time pushing them with going to school, doing their homework, and brushing their teeth. With creativity, it’s all about them and what they’re drawn to, not what I want them to do.

Be patient.

It takes time to develop creativity. It’s not like learning a times table where once you’ve got it, you’ve got it. Creativity is an eternal process. I was so proud of my first book, but years later I could see the flaws. I’m a better writer now. But I know I’ll be even better in ten years. Just let them learn and grow how they learn and grow, and they will definitely get better the more they practice.

I hope this has been helpful!

I will never not be proud of the creativity ours home is filled with. And I can’t wait to see what they do next. Their lives may not end up as creativity focused as ours, and they may well end up with “real jobs” because they’ve seen how hard this world is to make a career in. But I truly hope they never lose their love for being creative, even if they don’t do it for work. Because creativity is wonderful.